Finding Social Balance as an Introvert During the Holidays

The holidays can be tricky for people who recharge through quiet time. While the season encourages togetherness, large gatherings, back-to-back events, and constant interaction can feel draining. For many introverts, the natural response is to avoid or limit social plans altogether.

Avoidance can feel comforting in the short term, but it often reduces opportunities for connection, belonging, and positive experiences. Behavior science shows that small, intentional exposure to social settings can help reshape those avoidance patterns while still respecting your need for downtime.

Why Avoidance Becomes a Habit

When something feels uncomfortable, avoiding it brings instant relief. That relief is reinforcing—it teaches your brain that skipping a social event reduces stress. Over time, the avoidance becomes automatic, even when it means missing out on meaningful connections.

The goal is not to force yourself into constant interaction. It is to find balance by creating structured opportunities for connection that feel manageable and predictable.

Plan Small, Purposeful Interactions

Start with interactions that are brief, low-pressure, and easy to predict.

• Attend a small get-together instead of a large party.

• Meet one friend for coffee rather than joining a big dinner.

• Volunteer for a short shift at a community event where there is built-in structure.

These smaller steps function like behavioral shaping. They build tolerance for social settings without overwhelming your energy.

Create Environmental Supports

Your environment can help you stay consistent with social goals.

• Use visual cues like notes or calendar reminders for scheduled social plans.

• Choose locations that feel comfortable, such as a familiar café or a friend’s home.

• Plan recovery time afterward so the experience feels sustainable instead of draining.

By pairing social experiences with predictability and control, you reduce the anxiety that often fuels withdrawal.

Celebrate Effort, Not Extroversion

Progress is not measured by how many events you attend or how outgoing you appear. It is measured by showing up for connection in a way that aligns with your values.

When you take small steps toward engagement, you are building social confidence. Each positive experience strengthens the behavior and makes it easier to continue.

Expanding socialization as an introvert is not about changing who you are. It is about creating small, intentional opportunities for connection that add meaning to your life without overwhelming it. The more you practice, the easier it becomes to find comfort in community while still honoring your need for calm.

Here’s to fewer battles and more breakthroughs.
Jacqueline Shackil, BCBA, MS, MSIO