Little Helpers During the Holidays
The holidays can bring out the best — and sometimes the most chaotic — moments in any household. Between wrapping gifts, planning meals, and keeping up with family traditions, parents often find themselves juggling a long to-do list. In the rush to get everything “just right,” it’s easy to send kids off to play or watch a show just to get things done faster, but shooing them off may lead to more trouble. What if those busy moments could actually be turned into valuable learning opportunities instead?
Inviting your child to help with holiday preparations doesn’t just lighten your load. It creates a chance to teach responsibility, cooperation, and pride in their efforts. It also gives you the perfect opportunity to provide positive attention and reinforcement for the behaviors you want to see more often.
Why Kids Love to Help
Children are naturally curious. They want to copy what adults do, explore new roles, and feel capable. Helping with the holidays gives them a sense of belonging and purpose, which are two powerful motivators for behavior.
When parents assign simple, age-appropriate tasks, they’re not only engaging kids in the spirit of the season but also reinforcing valuable life skills. Even toddlers can carry napkins, stir ingredients, or sort ornaments by color. Older kids might help set the table, measure ingredients, or write name cards for guests.
Every one of these tasks can be an opportunity for shaping desired behavior through praise and positive reinforcement.
Using Behavior Science in Everyday Moments
Behavior science reminds us that attention is one of the most powerful reinforcers. When children receive attention for positive, helpful actions, they’re more likely to repeat those behaviors.
Think about how often kids test boundaries when parents are distracted. Children whining, interrupting, or acting out can all be ways for them to gain your focus. By intentionally giving attention when they’re doing something right, you flip the script. You teach that cooperation, not chaos, earns your time and praise.
Here’s how to make it stick:
Give clear directions. Instead of “Can you help?” try “Please put three napkins on each plate.” Clear expectations set kids up for success.
Acknowledge effort right away. Immediate feedback (“I love how carefully you placed those napkins!”) makes the reinforcement more effective.
Keep it achievable. Tasks that are too long or complicated can lead to frustration — and escape behaviors. Short, successful experiences build momentum.
Why It Matters
These small moments of shared effort aren’t just about completing chores — they strengthen your child’s confidence and self-worth. Helping makes kids feel valued and trusted. And when positive behaviors are reinforced consistently, they become part of your family’s rhythm long after the holidays are over.
So, while you’re decorating, baking, or wrapping, take a moment to invite your little one into the process. Let them sprinkle cookies, hand you tape, or pass out ornaments. The task itself doesn’t matter nearly as much as the connection — and the learning — that comes with it.
Here’s to fewer battles and more breakthroughs.
– Jacqueline Shackil, BCBA, MS, MSIO
