Rethinking Holiday Eating
The holiday season brings joy, family, and tradition — and for many people, a complicated relationship with food. Between festive dinners, endless desserts, and well-meaning reminders to “treat yourself,” it’s easy to fall into the trap of all-or-nothing thinking: either indulging in everything or feeling guilty for eating anything.
But building a healthier relationship with food doesn’t come from restriction or punishment. It comes from shaping habits. It comes from gradually changing the behaviors that influence how, when, and why we eat. By using a few simple principles from behavior science, you can enjoy the season while still making choices that support your goals.
Why Strict Dieting Often Fails
Strict dieting often fails because it removes all flexibility. When we label foods as “good” or “bad,” we create pressure, guilt, and unrealistic expectations. Restrictive rules also remove reinforcement and places more of our attention on the negative consequences.
If you completely cut out your favorite holiday foods, your motivation drops, and when temptation finally wins (because it always does), you feel like you’ve failed. That feeling of defeat can trigger a rebound effect: overeating, shame, and the “I’ll start over Monday” mindset.
Behavior science offers a better alternative: shaping. Instead of overhauling everything, shaping focuses on small, gradual changes that lead to lasting results.
Shaping Healthier Eating Habits
Shaping works because it builds on success, not punishment. You start where you are and make achievable improvements over time. For example:
Add before you remove. Before cutting something out, add something in. Try a serving of fruit or vegetables before dessert, or drink a glass of water before eating.
Create replacement behaviors. Instead of mindless snacking, plan an activity that still feels rewarding, like making tea, chatting with someone, or taking a quick walk.
Reinforce progress. Celebrate small wins. Recognize when you make a choice that supports your goals, even if it’s not perfect.
Use environmental cues. Keep healthier snacks visible and store treats in less accessible spots. The more convenient a behavior is, the more likely you are to repeat it.
These small steps may seem simple, but consistency makes them powerful. Over time, they become habits that no longer require effort.
Mindful Eating Over Perfect Eating
Perfectionism is the enemy of progress. Instead of aiming for control, focus on awareness. Notice what your body feels like before and after you eat. Are you physically hungry, or emotionally seeking comfort?
Mindful eating isn’t about counting calories; it’s about paying attention. Slow down during meals, appreciate the flavors, and pause between bites. These micro-habits reduce overeating naturally, without relying on willpower alone.
Behaviorally, you’re teaching your body new cues — using internal feedback (like fullness and satisfaction) rather than external rules (“I can’t eat past 7 p.m.”). This shift strengthens long-term control because it’s flexible, not forced.
Enjoy the Holidays Without Guilt
Holiday eating doesn’t need to mean restriction or indulgence. It can mean balance. You can enjoy a slice of pie, appreciate a meal with family, and still stay aligned with your goals.
Behavior change happens through consistency and compassion, not self-criticism. When you approach food with curiosity instead of judgment, you make space for both discipline and joy.
Remember, shaping doesn’t demand perfection — it rewards progress. Each intentional choice, no matter how small, moves you closer to lasting change.
Here’s to fewer battles and more breakthroughs.
– Jacqueline Shackil, BCBA, MS, MSIO
